Dr. Dan Hayden • 

This guy was a real jerk. I don’t know what she saw in him. He was abusive and rude, and very thoughtless. Not a nice guy. But for some reason, she liked him.

God wants us to love one another, and He has taken the time to spell out what that means. In 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 God says, “Love suffers long and is kind; love envies not, love vaunts not itself, is not puffed up, does not behave itself unseemly…” After telling us two positive things about what love does (love is patient and kind), God begins to give us a number of negatives—what love is not. And one of those negatives is that love does not behave itself unseemly. The NKJV and the NIV say, “It is not rude…”

Actually, the Greek word aschēmonei here has the idea of acting in a disgraceful manner, or doing something for which you ought to be ashamed – to act dishonorably or indecently.

Now there are a lot of ways we can do this. We can be rude or abusive or indifferent or stupid – and in all of these things we are acting in a selfish manner and seeking to fulfill our desires irrespective of the needs of others.


There’s a man I have known for years whom I talk to occasionally on the phone. Now, if things aren’t exactly as he wants them to be, he blows up and gets angry. It’s very unbecoming. Later, he will call me back and apologize for acting so stupid (after he thinks about what he did). How much better it would be if he would act in a civil and thoughtful manner to begin with. Then he wouldn’t have to apologize for his disgraceful behavior.

Well, if we really want to be loving people, we won’t act in an unbecoming manner. We’ll be thoughtful and courteous at all times, because that’s what love does. Now you know the real meaning of the word.

Hey – It’s time to wake up! Don’t be stupid. Don’t be a jerk. Be patient and kind in your treatment of others.